The Theory of Explosion

I have always wondered about some things that has never happened, or that will never-ever happen in my lifetime nor during the lifetime of the future brown, Super-humans of the 3rd millennium. In fact, we all do wonder things like that.

Say, go in for a KFC restaurant on a weekend, and wait in a long queue. And Suddenly, in your imagination everyone will turn into super-villains’ side-kicks jumped off from a Vijay Movie to have a snack at the KFC! Everyone might look like they have not shaved for their lifetime, with the possession of pierced metals in sensitive parts, and waiting for the right time to roar over you. That is when, tour adrenal cortex makes your adrenaline ready to be released into your blood anytime, but it ends in vain always. You would have imagined that those people in KFC were being thrashed by you single handedly with your other hand clutching firmly onto your boneless chicken strip.

These imaginations happen to almost everyone. Things like – An auto-rickshaw driver kidnapping you on a knife-edge, or an airplane fluttering peacefully in the sky, flying right through your two-storeyed-thirteen-metre-high-college-building, or the planet pluto suddenly becomes covered with whipped cream and starts throwing out cold vannilla ice-cream towards Earth. These things never happen. Their probability is very low, and tends to be zero; but it is actually possible for us to prove that these things might happen with 100% probability.

Proof:

“Let us consider that – for the sake of argument that two statements – ‘Lemons are yellow’ and ‘Lemons are not yellow’, both be true. Using this, we can prove anything like ‘Physics professor has three heads and two necks’ or ‘World is really gonna end in 2012’ or literally any gitterbish you might come across or never might come across or the 3rd millennium brown, super-humans might never come across”

“For example, let us just prove that the statement ‘Everyone will pass in the maths exam’ as true. As we have considered earlier; We can say, either the statements ‘lemons are yellow’ or ‘Everyone will pass in the maths exam’ is true. (A^B=True if A or B is true; in this case – A is true) But, since the statement A is contradicted by the statement ‘Lemons are not yellow’ is true, the statement B should be true. Therefore, the statement B, ‘Everyone will pass in the maths exam’ is true.

So, if someone comes to you and says sheepishly that he wont pass in the maths exam, give a cute little knock on his head and explain the above proof, as his eyes swells up. You will get a cute little bear hug in return or splash of fistful of fury or who knows, a new girlfriend. *Terms and Conditions apply.

Cos ❤ = All values less than 3

Using this we can prove that ‘Pluto is actually a planet made of whipped cream and throwing away vanilla ice-cream in the direction of Earth’, ‘Bean bags are actually made up of beans’, ‘Super man is my cousin’, ‘I met an alien yesterday night at the forest and he scared me to hell by showing ‘Sura’ movie in his/her UFO’, ‘Your Physics professor’s hair is red, and it is painted invisible so that he looks bald’, cos<love> value is less than 3, etc…

You name it. And we can prove it.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard to the world ruled by the ‘Theory of Explosion’!

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