Suddenly there was a different feeling. I knew I had closed my eyes yet I could see clearly, yet it’s completely dark. I could sense that I was at a place that is very accustomed to me yet I don’t know where. I raised to my feet and started blindly taking baby steps forward to reach the wall. I couldn’t feel the wall but suddenly I came to my corridor and could see the lights there.
I turned back and saw the wall. Except that I’m not in my room. I checked for my hands. They’re not there. I checked for my legs. They’re not there.
And I was like ‘Wait a minute!’. I think I’m dreaming, told a voice from my head, but is there a head at all?
I don’t think so you’re dreaming! told another frightful voice. I think you’re dead!
I’m dead and what am I now? A ghost? This is gotta be pathetic. I saw the wall which is the outer wall of my room and if I’m indeed dead, I concluded that I might have died in my sleep. WHAT A FUCKING TERRIBLE WAY TO DIE!!
I had always imagined myself dying in cool ways when I try to sleep and fail utterly at it. I could fly from a speeding car, jump over a bridge, fall into the water and then get eaten by a crocodile. Or else, I could die from the hands or horns of a near extinct species like the one-horned rhino or maybe suffocated by a baby panda. I might just die from a new pathogen I created, turn into a zombie and kill people. I could even kill people I don’t like, like they show in the ‘SAW’ series and then die happily.
Of all these options, I died in my sleep?! I pitied myself and the way I died and regret filled my soul or whatever it is.
And then my mind (or whatever it is) turned its focus on another paradox. If I really died, what am I? A ghost? If so, where are the other ghosts? What am I made of? So many questions swarmed into my mind (Let’s keep it as ‘mind’ cuz I don’t believe in souls)
For someone who doesn’t believe in ghosts, to become one itself is utter astonishment. I could see stuff, but I didn’t know what I see with and it really bugged me. ‘Seriously?!’, I could think but i didn’t know what I’m thinking with. I tried to make a sound but couldn’t make any. I tried to communicate with other ghosts but couldn’t find out any way to do it.
One thing I’ve learned so far as a Ghost is that I could walk (or whatever it is) through walls and it sounded immensely cool to me at that time. I wanted to check if I could fly. So, I just faced upward and in my mind I imagined myself flying. Effortlessly, the viewpoint now seemed to change as if I’m flying. I passed through the bricks of my house and soon found myself hovering over the moonless night.
A chill went down my spine (or whatever it is) and my mind formulated an evil laugh! I pictured myself raising my hands and saying “Behold Young Earthling Mortals! I am the free spirit here and I’m here to haunt you all!!” and that sounded unimaginably cool at that time, though a bit childish when you think about it. I thought about the impossibly innumerous stuff I could do as a Ghost.
I could walk through walls. I could see great personalities and scientists like Richard Dawkins, Lawrence Krauss and Stephen Hawking in close proximity and learn what they do when people aren’t around. I could see what people talk about me in my funeral and make a note of whoever talks bad and haunt them specifically. I need not take a bath, nor brush, nor do anything that a Human is ought to do by the modern society. I could swear loudly whenever I wanted to. I could visit the great Himalayas, great mountains, great forests and let the wild enthrall me. I could visit a panda shelter and be close to it and die again by its cuteness. I need not sleep and I could read all day. I could just scare the shit out of people just for the fun of it! What more could you ask for?
Being a Ghost is sure a great fun!