I am currently listening to a malayalam song. Sounds so romantic and soothing. Half an hour back I went out with my bicycle, out for a ride; to get some fresh air after wasting away my time this beautiful Saturday. It wasn’t a full waste, actually. I woke up around 6 40 in the morning, a rare feat by me on holidays and I pumped up bucketfuls of metro water and from then on it was a downward slope for me today. 

I have set myself lots of goals to accomplish. I had to finish the paper on sparrows that I had been writing for ages as well as a paper that one of my department faculty entrusted upon me to finish. I never finished them though I worked on them; bits and pieces. Not today.

Today I hit a new low. I am up to date on watching Sherlock and I saw the season 3 episode 2 today with intermittent cries from my insides desperately pleading me to finish the ‘golden cup’ in ‘revolt 2’ – a miniature racing game in my mobile. As a result, I finished watching that 90 minutes episode in about 150 minutes. Waste.

I also started reading ‘The Bourne Identity’ by Robert Dudlam. I am ticking boxes of stuff what usually today’s Youth tend to do on a holiday. I have got holidays till Wednesday and I don’t even know what I am going to do these four days barring fixing sparrow boxes on Monday.

On working days; though I feel miserable on long hours of bus journeys to college; I find myself satisfied because I see myself productive or atleast I create illusion of myself being productive. It feels better.

But why?

I think it is the ‘Purpose’.

I don’t mean the ‘purpose of life’ and all the philosophical nonsense which a common man sees as beyond his brain’s scope but the ‘purpose’ you find in a day that drives you forward to do your work.

I am interested in evolutionary biology and from what I had learnt from innumerable facts and theories formed on rock-solid facts, I can say that life on Earth is just another accident which has thrived due to the innate nature of everything living and moving – that is – ‘An urge to reproduce and produce living things’. Though we can say that almost all animals and plants live to reproduce and to pass on their genes which absolutely fits the ‘selfish gene theory‘; Homo sapiens tend to differ in this primary purpose.

We have won natural selection so far (I will do a post on how I see natural selection in the near future). What I mean is that if we introduce say 100 squirrels into a road-side park; squirrels afraid of the asphalt will thrive and live whereas squirrels which had never seen asphalt or tar will quickly die because of the traffic and under tires. However, you take 100 Homo sapiens and leave them in a community, they will thrive; almost all of them will blend in to the community and raise offsprings (Unless they’re infertile). We had ticked off the ‘reproducing’ purpose. It is completed. A homeless drunkard man can still find a bride in India if he plays his cards right.

We are much more than just ‘reproducing’ and producing offsprings. We have a better purpose in life and it varies from each person to person. I should caution you that it is not written anywhere, or predestined, but  one should find it as they move across their life. 

“Imagine a World where everyone has free access to every information available? That is what I am working on” is the wallpaper of my brother’s macbook since I remember he bought a mac. Now he inspires people, not only the people from the geek community but also people who are unrelated to him; whom he haven’t met or heard at all. Since he had found a purpose, every act he makes; he makes it so that it would help him to get a step closer to it. You can argue that one can never make everything in this world available to everyone. True. But, at least he is trying and if only 1% of the information is available right now, by the time he is done with his career (I doubt it), he would have atleast added another 1%. That small difference is what you leave behind. (Note to self: Shouldn’t get philosophical) Surely, he had inspired me and he is one of the few lucky ones to have set his purpose right; whereas I am still searching for mine.

We all really don’t have a purpose in life. I would like to reiterate that nothing is destined for us. Nothing is written like a piece of code and we are not an execution of a program. Our life is in our hands (Don’t look at your hands now). I know this post is a bit philosophical; but the half an hour bicycle ride had really cleared up my mind a bit. I feel that I am more close to finding the purpose that I aim to find. The purpose which will help me to raise up every morning and hope that at the end of the day, atleast I had taken a step closer to my purpose; my goal. I have started searching. Have you?

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